Living with PTSD

Sometimes PTSD is almost too much to handle. I avoid putting much on here about it, but I know it helps me to read of other wives who struggle with their husbands' symptoms. So I want to share some so I can comfort others in that way.

Living with someone with PTSD can be one of the most stressful things you could ever experience. It's like there's a constant bout of anger pinned up inside them all the time. Views on everything are negative. They always think everybody is out to get them, and the world is always against them. Rage bursts out at the most random times. Sometimes I just want to run far away from it all.

Yesterday was one of those days. There are situations that scare me, and yesterday that happened. I won't go into detail for the sake of privacy, but those days knock me down hard, and it's tough to get back up.

I've learned how to deal with it most days, but it just causes stress to build up inside of me. Somedays I get to the point that I just can't keep that smile on my face and try to calm him down any longer. The bad thing is, when I get down I stay down. I've tried to pull myself out of this funk today, but I can't seem to. On my bad days or when I'm in a bad mood I don't throw temper tantrums, gripe and complain, nag, get irritable, or snap at people. I just get quiet. I don't say much. When I do, I speak very quietly. I never get an "attitude"... I simply get down. I've been quiet all day, don't feel like talking, have quietly cleaned the house, cooked him lunch, and worked on school work. Sometimes I can ease on past it. But tonight I needed to vent. This was going to go in my private journal because I try to keep things like this off my blog, but I put this one here in hopes that someone else can see it and feel like they're not alone in the struggle of living with someone with PTSD. It's a daily struggle, and all I can do is pray that it gets better someday.